A Nurse's Life: Heart-warming and humorous tales from a 1950s student nurse (Nurse Jane Grant) by Grant Jane

Author:Grant, Jane [Grant, Jane]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Tags: heart-warming, 1950s, doctor, nurses, hospital, nostalgia, medical fiction, romance, doctors, nurse
Publisher: Corazon Books (Doctors and Nurses)
Published: 2014-08-03T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter Seventeen

Each year after Christmas the housemen did a play in which, according to custom, they poked fun at the Honoraries. They would make up, cruelly emphasizing any outstanding feature, and build a plot round any peculiarity or strong characteristic of a Consultant.

Mary and I went to the show, which took place in a lecture hall in the medical school. Nurses and students sat in the gallery, while the Honoraries sat with Matron in the stalls.

The hall was packed; a couple of students played a stirring overture on two pianos, and the show began brightly with a sparkling chorus doing the Can-can. The most grotesquely tall and large-footed housemen had been chosen for the chorus; they were dressed in nurses’ uniform with long red pants which showed to great advantage in the high kicks. At least three of these beauties were members of the rugger team, and approached the dance as if it were a scrum.

At the climax of the number, Ginger entered dressed as a fan dancer. He waved two colossal fans in a seductive manner, and wore brief lacy pants and a full brassiere across his broad hairy chest.

The story was of a young wayward houseman, dressed suspiciously like an eminent brain specialist whose name was Cludd. The character was played by Gavin, and in the play he was called Mudd. He falls passionately in love with Ginger, deserting his steady nurse friend who was played by large-footed Brian.

In the first scene Gavin swears he will never look at another medulla oblongata if Ginger will only consent to become his wife. At this point he hurls himself at Ginger and swings on his neck, kicking his heels in the air. An irate Brian comes in and finds them; turning to the audience he complains bitterly that ‘he’ll never trust a houseman again.’ This sentiment was greeted with cheers from all the nurses in the gallery.

As the play proceeded there were a number of topical lyrics concerning Honoraries’ latest errors and eccentricities.

In the private block there had lately been a popular film star who had concussion after a car accident. Mr. Cludd had seen him, diagnosed wrongly, and discharged him. After falling about for some weeks, the film star had been seen by another specialist at a rival hospital, who had removed a haemotoma.

The lyric referring to this episode was sung sadly by Gavin, while Charles stood behind him, blowing a balloon harder and harder, till with an enormous pop it exploded, and Gavin reacted with a violent stage start.

‘From making a blomer

About haemotoma

I’ve got in no end of a tease;

The star’s head’s the wrong size

So they’ve sent him to Guy’s,

And I’ll get the heave-ho from St B’s.’

This shrewd hit practically brought the house down.

Charles, now elevated to the position of a houseman, was excellent as his namesake, Sir Charles. He clutched an enormous embroidery frame, and at the crucial points in the play, when Gavin and Brian were quarrelling violently over Ginger, Charles would appear and ask them to look at his nice new design.

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